Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Easter Sunday and related celebrations, such as Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday, are considered “moveable feasts,” although, in western Christianity, which follows the Gregorian calendar, Easter always falls on a Sunday between March 22 and April 25. Easter typically falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon occurring on or after the spring equinox.
Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Easter is a Christian holiday that celebrates the belief in the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
What’s the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
You only need one nail to hang up the picture of Jesus.
In Eastern Orthodox Christianity, which adheres to the Julian calendar, Orthodox Easter falls on a Sunday between April 4 and May 8 each year.
Why wouldn’t you want to be an Easter egg?
You only get laid once.
St. Bede the Venerable, the 6 century author of “Ecclesiastical History of the English People, maintains that the English word "Easter" comes from Eostre, or Eostrae, the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring and fertility. Other historians maintain the “Easter” derives from in albis, a Latin phrase that's pural for alba, or “dawn," that became eostarum in Old High German, a precursor to the English language of today.
I’m trying to give up innuendos for Lent, but it’s so long and it’s going to be so hard.
Notably, Easter is also associated with the Jewish holiday of Passover, as well as the exodus of the Jews from Egypt, as described in the Old Testament. These links are clearly seen in the Last Supper, which occurred the night before Jesus’ arrest and the sufferings Jesus endured following his arrest.
A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday. After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one.
Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.
Irrespective of denomination, there are many Easter-time traditions with roots that can be traced to non-Christian and even pagan or non-religious celebrations. Many non-Christians choose to observe these traditions while essentially ignoring the religious aspects of the celebration.
Examples of non-religious Easter traditions include Easter eggs, and related games such as egg rolling and egg decorating.
It’s believed that eggs represented fertility and birth in certain pagan traditions that pre-date Christianity. Egg decorating may have become part of the Easter celebration in a nod to the religious significance of Easter, i.e., Jesus’ resurrection or re-birth.
Many people—mostly children—also participate in Easter egg “hunts,” in which decorated eggs are hidden.
What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?
It might take me a while to get hard cause I just got laid by some chick.
In some households, a character known as the Easter Bunny delivers candy and chocolate eggs to children on Easter Sunday morning. These candies often arrive in an Easter basket.
The exact origins of the Easter Bunny tradition are unknown, although some historians believe it arrived in America with German immigrants in the 1700s. Rabbits are, in many cultures, known as enthusiastic procreators, so the arrival of baby bunnies in springtime meadows became associated with birth and renewal.